Quote:  Your Life is a result of the choices you make…. If you don’t like the way your life is going, It’s time to start making better/ different choices.

I have been thinking about this entry for a few days now.  I saw something on Facebook about saying goodbye to the ones you love as they rush off to start their day.  It came full circle for me one day when I went to class observation with Raven (6yo). I only had a BRIEF minute to tell her everything I wanted her to hear… I love you, make good choices, try your hardest, etc.  

It came out as “I love you, do good thing!’ as she rushed back to her class activity.  It didn’t phase either of us and we went about our day. The next day, Gage and I had to drop the girls off at school… as Raven was getting out of the car, she says “bye mom, do good things!” Then going to drop Gage off at school… He gets out of the car and said “I love you, do good thing!”  This phrase has stuck with Raven… and now Gage as a form of bye. As I sat at the school waiting on Gage, it came to me… “What or how does that phrase effect our day? What do I mean by saying it every day?” In that two and a half hours, I decided that I will use it every day and after school that we would explore it more in talking about our day.

I could just say “make good choices” and send you on your way, but that doesn’t cover everything I want you to accomplish in a day. It requires someone else to give your options first and not think on your own.

I could just say “try your hardest/best!” but I don’t want you to get into trouble and think your hardest/best isn’t enough. You are enough and your ability to do things is ever changing. I could just leave it at “I love you”, but what forward motivation would you have for the day? You are my child and my love for you is ever lasting! No matter what happens, my love for you is abundant.

Your dad and I want you to have the best, happiest, productive day possible… but we also want to instill in you that your life is 80% affected by the choices you are given to make and the ones you choose beforehand.  The other 20% of your day is basically decided for you,… the weather, what your teacher has planned and what decisions the other kids/people around you will make.

I want “Do Good Things” to give you motivation and initiative every day! 

Things to consider when you talk to your kids:

Help someone before they ask for it

We teach our son how to treat women. We teach our daughters how they should be treated… where do teach them to treat others.  I want my kids to jump in when they see someone in need. It could be a smile and a simple hello, to catching the door, asking how they can help.  I don’t want them to sit back and watch someone struggle. OK, that person or child wants to keep trying independently; fine, but I want my children to notice the struggle or need and ask if they can offer help. The help could be any form; a helping hand, cheering on that person to succeed or just the question of “can I help you?” so that person knows they are willing, when or if the time comes that they want help.

Being present in life

This is physically, mentally and emotionally.  Every time we talk to our children in general life, redirection or daily skills, we command they be present.  We verbally assess that they are present by asking the following questions. Can you look at me? Are you paying attention? Can you repeat what I said to make sure we understand each other?  We physical assess that they are close, they are involved by participating. We emotional assess them by asking how they feel about things or how things changed with their decision. We make it a habit to enforce being on time or early for events.  We want our kids to not waste anyone’s time, to where that person feels used or taken advantage of. There is always leeway, our kids are learning and grace will help the learning process.

Using your manners

Simply use manners. Our kids say please, thank you, etc… but they have learned the sign of respect behind the words. They has also notice the respect given to them when they use their manners. Again, the grace helps the learning process.

Cleaning up your environment

Cleaning up after yourself is a skill they will need throughout their lives.  Our kids know that when we say 15…. 10…. 5… minutes until the next activity that it’s time to clean up their toys.  We teach them to clean up after themselves when they eat or do crafts. We want them to understand that if they want the enjoyment of something, they need to be responsible enough to clean it up.  We teach our kids to take care of their things, but we want to blend into other situations. For instance, if they are at a friend’s house. I want them to value the friend’s stuff just like they would their own and to be respectful of the time spent their by cleaning up.

Be Friendly

Our 5 year old does friendly like no other.  She is the first person to speak, introduce herself and take the lead.  She considers everyone a friend, even though she understands the boundaries of friendship.  We caution her when needed, but she is never willing to leave someone out. She expects the world to be friendly and we will explain when it doesn’t happen.  She shows me her heart every time she opens up. I wish the world was more like her in the olive branch. She looks past the outside and sees into people’s core.

Give Grace

Giving people the room to grow, learn and rediscover something is wonderful.  We do redo’s in life. When our kiddos make mistake, we don’t stay on it… we try again and move on.

You have the ability to make yours and someone else’s day a little bit different… if you let your heart lead the way, just take your brain with you.                                                                                      

Do Good Things!